Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
