I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
