You just made me feel so damn special
I think my vagina is haunted
My cat gives me a boner
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
