When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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