At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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