Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
