Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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