The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I've blown a few things in my day
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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