yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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