I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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