dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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