I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
