what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
