im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
