it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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