So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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