just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
