Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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