Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
