Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
