Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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