You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
