you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
