I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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