I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
