This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My vagina just clenched in fear
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
