So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Girls should come with a carfax report
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
