I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
