I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
