That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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