actually, I'm a sock model
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
