Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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