just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
