i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
