I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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