..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
