so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
