I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
