brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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