We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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