I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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