O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
