Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
