dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I deserve this hangover.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
