Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
