You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
