They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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