she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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