Don't make out with my wife yet
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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