I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
