Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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