i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Are we still banned from the library?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
