its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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