Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Randomize
