1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
