I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
