Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got inside last night via doggy door
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
